I used to think I had mornings figured out.
After all, I wrote an entire book called Own Your Morning about them! I’ve preached my “how you start your day is how you live your day” philosophy to thousands of people. I just gave that exact talk at a wellness retreat at Big Cedar Lodge and led folks through exercises to help them craft their perfect morning.
Morning routines aren’t a set-it-and-forget-it situation. They evolve. And lately, my mornings have been a work in progress. Ironically, I wrote about this exact thing in my book—that life transitions are the perfect time to reassess your a.m. routine—but I sort of forgot that the advice applies to me, too.
That’s why my conversation earlier this week with my friend and fellow Substacker Emily Abbate was so illuminating, even though I’m already a self-described Morning Person. Emily and I have known each other for more than a decade—we met when she was moderating a wellness panel that I was on in NYC, and later, worked together at SELF magazine.
“Energy attracts like energy. If I know what I want to receive, I have to be willing to give that out.” —Emily Abbate, Hurdle podcast host and The Weekly Hurdle Substack writer; watch our full conversation by clicking the video above
These days, we occasionally get to hang out together at very awesome events like Apple’s Close Your Rings Day. (She also chose to play flag football on the Apple campus sports fields, my girl!) Emily is a prolific podcaster, life coach, features writer, world traveler, and one of the most intentional morning people I know. Here’s her routine…
“I'm up between 5:30 and 6, usually around 5:30 a.m. I set an alarm, but usually naturally wake up on my own at that hour.
The first thing I do is walk into the kitchen, put the new coffee pod into the Nespresso.
Then I walk into the bathroom, do a little splash of water on my face, vitamin C serum, brush my teeth, take whatever medications I want to take.
Then back into the kitchen, where I am on a fixation breakfast of protein bagels. I get the protein bagel, slice it, put it in the toaster. By the time that I do that, the coffee's ready. I start sipping the coffee until the bagel’s ready.
My bagel gets vegan butter spread—or some butter alternative spread if I buy it at Trader Joe’s—and a splash of cinnamon sugar.
I walk over to the couch with the bagel and the Nespresso. I sit there, I do breath work—I usually use the Open app—and then I journal.
My journaling practice right now is just one page, free-flowing thoughts, whatever comes up for me. I finish that page with a gratitude or a highlight from the last 24 hours.
Once that's done, I put everything in the dishwasher, walk into the bedroom, make my bed, get into workout clothes.
Then it's either hitting the ground running—literally, right now I’m training for the Nike After Dark Women’s Half Marathon in Los Angeles—or other days it’s straight to the gym.
I'm running four days and lifting four days right now. And as one could assume, because there are not eight days in the week, there’s crossover on some of those days.”
Which Brings Us To My Morning Routine…
I set my alarm for 5:17 a.m.—yes, on the dot. Seven is my lucky number and I think starting my day with good energy matters.
My alarm tone is a soft chime. I don’t like waking up to a blaring, jarring sound.
I head straight to the kitchen and hydrate with ice water mixed with creatine and essential amino acids—fuel for my brain and muscles.
I make my coffee in my happy-hued, yellow Moccamaster. Pulling out my favorite coffee mug is part of the ritual. I add a healthy splash of whole milk.
From there, it depends on the day—but lately, I’ve been feeling a burst of creative energy and find myself writing on my laptop from the kitchen counter first thing: client deliverables, Substack drafts, big picture work.
I rub Willa’s belly, kiss her, and tell her over and over again how much I love her and what a good girl she is.
I get my older kids out the door to catch the bus and walk my youngest to elementary school in the neighborhood.
I usually train early at my local YMCA—but lately I’ve been pushing my workout to post-school drop-off, or even at the end of the day.
A Morning Post-Mortem
Talking with Emily—and playing back our conversation later—illuminated that I’ve been a wee bit hard on myself and my in-flux routine. And I told Emily, amongst other things, that lately I get a little riled up when people ask me whether I “sleep-in” or “work out for 2+ hours” now that I’m working for myself.
Uh, no.
If anything, without the structure of my old morning commute into Manhattan from Brooklyn, the blur between my professional and personal life is not just fuzzy, it’s gone. Ugh! I’m often working instead of working out at dawn and pushing my strength training sessions to later in the morning or at the end of the day.
Well, Em nudged me. Why is that such an “ugh”?
As she reminded me: “If your brain is at its best in the morning, maybe that’s when you write. And maybe that’s okay.” Maybe, Em said gently, You could work for 45-minutes, then get yourself out the door to the gym. Maybe there’s a way to do both.
So, I’m going to embrace this transitional season because I’m still finding my sea legs. (It has, after all, only been four months since I began Liz Chapter 2.0.) If my best writing happens before sunrise and my workout timing shifts? That is not a failure; it may just be a temporary recalibration.
The system, the strategy, the morning that works best? It’s the one that works for your real life, right now.
Morning Advice, From Two Women Who’ve Tried It All
1. Early isn’t better—it’s just early.
Pre-dawn wellness routines on social are cute (but staged!) voyeurism and inspiration, but your body and brain don’t care about trending “wake-up with me” reels. If you do wake up early, guard those hours like gold. They’re often when your clearest thinking—and deepest intuition—show up.
2. Get clear on your anchors.
Not everything needs to be a ritual. But you do need a few non-negotiables that signal: I’m awake, I’m here, I’m me. For Emily, it’s espresso, journaling, breathwork, movement. For me? Coffee (mug choice matters), aminos + creatine with water, and yes—often a burst of writing while my neurons are still fresh.
3. Write when the words come. Lift when the energy does.
If your brain is sharpest at 6 a.m., don’t waste it. Use it. If your body’s more awake at 10 a.m., train then. The win isn’t sticking to a rigid order—it’s matching your actions to your energy.
4. Let it be messy if it’s working.
Screen grabs in your Notes app? A half-journaled page? A walk with your dog outside while voice memo-ing your to-do list? It counts. The system doesn’t have to be tidy. It has to support you.
5. Start by being present, not perfect.
Your morning doesn’t have to check every wellness box. It just needs to resonate with you. Five minutes of stillness. One deep breath. A long glance at the sky. A quick text to a loved one (don’t forget an emoji!). Those micro-nods—small enough that you’ll actually do them—are the real wins.
6. Redefine success daily.
It doesn’t have to mean green juice, hot yoga, and inbox zero by 8 a.m. It means you feel a little more centered, a little more lit up, than you did yesterday. That’s the bar. Raise it when it serves you. Lower it when you need to. It’s yours to play with.
7. The real flex? Staying grounded when everything goes sideways. Your kid can’t find his homework, the box of cereal spills, your Slack is on fire, it’s pouring rain, everyone is late to school—and you still did something for yourself? That’s not a good morning, it’s a great one.
Read more from Emily at The Weekly Hurdle, check out her Hurdle podcast, and catch her over on Instagram. She’s building a life with meaning—and generously taking us all along for the ride.
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